I absoloutely LOVE this time of year. The department stores and the mall are a couple of the joys I find in Christmas time. I love the hot apple cider and the smells coming from Starbucks. I love the little kids sitting in Santa's lap..they are always so cute. I have to admit that I love dressing Gavin in cute little Christmas outfits (even though I swore that I would never be one of "those" moms). My mom used to make me wear Christmas turtlenecks with candy canes and gingerbread men and I hated it! Oh well, I'm going to enjoy it while I can!
One thing that has really been on my mind lately is my uncle Steve. Steve was like an M&M. He had a tough shell but a soft and sweet inside. I have been missing him more than ever lately. I think it's true that you never know how much you cared for someone until they have left. Steve earned his angel wings 2 years ago this Christmas. It seems like it was so long ago, but in a way it seems like it was just yesterday. I went by the cemetery today just to visit with him for a while. He had some beautiful flowers. They were in shades of blue with a little dove in a nest. It reminded me of a Winter Wonderland. I have been wondering lately why God takes the ones we love from us. I wonder this because Steve was just 45 years young. He had so much to live for. Sometimes I would just like to know why he had to leave this world so suddenly without warning. I think that when we lose someone we love, we keep a piece of that person in our heart. I also think that that person takes a piece of us with them. Our family feels a little less whole without Steve. I think I've got a small spot missing inside of me. I wasn't that close to Steve the last year or so of his life, but I loved him more than he will ever know. I also think that this did happen for a reason. Our family has changed so much since Steve became an angel. There are things we don't say now, and some things that we do. There are awkward moments and painful times. Christmas is hard. The memory I will always think of at Christmas Eve is sitting at UAB Neuro ICU pleading with the Lord to help Steve and praying relentlessly for our family. There were times among the 23rd, 24th & 25th that I didn't think we were going to make it. Hearing the news right before Christmas dinner is something that replays over and over in my head from time to time. I don't understand why God took him from us on that day, but I know it's nto for me to understand. When I hear that hymn, "Farther Along" it reminds me that we don't understand why, but that we will one day. If there is one thing I have learned from losing him, it is that we truly do not know what the future holds or when the last time we see the ones we care about.
We miss you
1/11/61-12/25/06
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6 comments:
It is crazy that it has almost been 2 years! I wasn't around Steve all that much, but everytime I ever saw him he was SO nice to me! I guess there is something that makes an impression on you when you see this big, "hard" guy that always takes the time to share a smile and a laugh with you! That is how all my memories of Steve are! When I heard what had happened it really hit me hard! You know, the whole "life is so fragile" thing....Steve was the closest relative I have ever lost to that kind of tragedy!
I know our whole family has a rough time around this time of the year with this!! But I know that it is especially hard on all of you, his immediate family!! Y'all are in my prayers!
I agree with you and Donna... I cannot believe it has been 2 years this Christmas since we lost Steve. I remember everything about that Christmas day so well. That whole day is just burned into my mind. It is hard when you don't understand why God allows certain things to happen... but we can be reassured that God is in control and He loves us. One day we will know why.
Also, I love how you said Steve was like an M&M, because that is so true! I have never thought of that comparison before. He was this big, tough guy on the outside, but he was so caring and sweet on the inside. I will be praying for our whole family this Christmas and especially all of ya'll!!
Donna, thanks for the comment :) Yes, Steve was such a genuinely caring person. Thanks for the prayers. Keep my Nell & Pop in your prayers, too-it is especially hard on them!
Page- thanks for your kind words. Yes, those 4 days are burned in my mind too. It's hard to forget them. Our family is so tight-knit so that helps. Its funny bc Steve actually loved M&Ms too! =)
I hope y'all had a good Christmas! Did Gavin even care about it? Raegan didn't!! Avery opened most of her gifts for her! Avery on the other hand was VERY excited this year....this was the first year she has been able to understand a little more! It was so fun watching her! Anyway, I just wanted to say HEY and all....I will talk to you soon! BYE~ :)
Wow. i know this post was a long time ago but I just now read it. I love him so much and I regret not showing it more but that's just how we were. I know that he knew that I loved him and it was amazing how much he loved all of us. All children really. I think the way he looked really hid the way he actually lived. He was an amazing person that taught me alot.
Hey Kara, I just now read you and Donna's postings. Donna, yes we had a great XMAS! Gavin was more into paper, too. Kara, yeah--looks were definitely deceiving in his case.
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